Round 3 of Healthy Living

I am so dealing with a bad Lupus flare..... my eyes lids are swollen, mainly on the one side.  I am determined to get my health back under control.  We were doing so good for several months and then we slid back to some prepackaged foods and then straightened back up for several more months before we went back towards convenience.
Why do we do it?  I hate convenience food, but I like the time it gives me.  I usually have 50 things going on at once and I'm plum exhausted, not to mention I never know what Kaden's mood and behavior will be like.  So, after a long day I reach for chicken nuggets and tots or a big bowl of ice cream after dinner to sooth my woes.  
What we love to eat is salmon, any kind of meat really with any veg and rice or quinoa.  We love huge dinner salads with grilled chicken too and almost never would turn down something made on the grill or smoker.  That all takes time, planning and preparation.  And I just need to make it a priority, over something else besides waiting to the last minute and then falling into temptation.  
Here's to better Health!!!!

But You Don't Look Sick...

This is kind of long, but if you truly want to know what my life is like with Lupus then read.

By Christine Miserandino www.butyoudontlooksick.com

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.
As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

Updates in the Manic House.....

It's been super busy here....we are doing our backyard, buying an RV and planning our cross country trip all while we are trying to wrap up our Spring School Season and getting ready to start our Summer School.  I love the change of the seasons, we school differently with each one.  I noticed that a few years ago while we were struggling to get things done during the Winter months.  I'll have to post something regarding our Seasonal Homeschooling soon.  I love the flexibility that Homeschooling offers us as a Family!  

Taco Salad Recipe and my Reason for Being Healthy

So, it's that time of year again....when everyone vows to loose weight and get healthier.  Counting calories and buying new workout wear.  Sweating like beasts and rubbing down aching joints the next day.  I've been there done that....now I'm looking for a lifestyle change, something I can continue while on vacation, sick, depressed, during softball season, on a picnic....I think you get the picture.  Many times one of these "life situations" would happen and my diet would fly out the window.  Over a year ago I started Trim Healthy Mama, lost 15 lbs and then went on a month long camping trip that ended with Disney.  I was only on the THM plan for about 2 weeks before we left and about a week into vacation I dropped THM and grabbed a handful of hot dogs to sooth the pain and guilt away.  

Giving It All To Jesus Feels Good!

Wow, what a crazy past few weeks we have had.  I have been ultra Blessed these past few years and have had fairly good health....thank you Jesus!  Well, the time has come to rally the sick wagons, cause Momma's falling apart.  Well, actually I did feel that way...but I did something different this time.  I just gave it to God.  I told him, I'm no good with this.  If I keep it I will worry, google stuff until carpel tunnel sets in and just make myself so miserable that maybe I would prefer I short death.  

Two Tales of One Kitchen Cabinet

Here is the scene of the crime....it's bad, it's BIG, it's a mess!  Do you have a place in your house that looks a little like this? :)  You may be like me and have looked at places in your home that look similar to this, but just get overwhelmed and decide to just shut the door or turn away.  I have lived this way for 25 years.  But, recently I've discovered that you can have an unorganized room or shelves filled with clutter and it's just that...it doesn't define who you are as a Person.  This may seem like "duh" for you, but for me not so much.  I had a problem looking at things for what they are and not making them an extension of who I was. 

Normally this would freak me out and  I would be filled with shame, but let's look at what these shelves really represent.  When I look at these shelves with non-judging eyes I see that the person in this kitchen actually uses her kitchen.  They must cook at home more then they eat out.  I see bottles of food coloring from numerous science projects, Easter egg coloring sessions and endless nights of baking.  Extracts for all the fun drinks sipped while taking long walks, nacho cheese seasoning so their movie night popcorn is less naked.  All the baggies in the back filled with exotic spices found in little shops or Whole foods proves you can take a trip around the world and not even leave your house.

So, there is no need to feel embarrassed or discouraged.  Take what you have and make it Functional and Beautiful to you!  That is what I've been doing around my house and I haven't really been documenting it or blogging about it, because it's just been a lifestyle change for me this past year.  But, I want to share because I have meet so many people lately that carry this deep dislike for themselves and they have been dealing with it since childhood.  And everyday the pile grows taller and taller as they keep adding all their "failures".  The thing that helped me was realizing and truly believing that the things that I thought were "failures" were simply just areas of my life that I needed to give extra attention to.  And once I released the judgement and looked differently at the tasks at hand I found relief.  With relief I found motivation to tackle projects that burdened my soul for years.  Healthy eating, organization of the whole house, writing, Bible studies needing to be studied, building projects, hobbies I had wanted to start, languages I wanted to learn and a plethora of odds and ends that I had been putting off for YEARS!

One of my areas of weakness is the Kitchen, I have so much of everything!  I love to cook and I love flavorful food so I have spices and cookbooks galore.  A few weeks ago I donated 18 cookbooks and I still have about 35, that will be a slow weeding out process and I can live with that.  Right now they aren't cluttering the counters and floor of my kitchen, so I'm a happy momma.  Now my Spices are another story.  I couldn't just organize or get rid of them.  I buy most of them from Sams so they are huge!  Because of that they are bulky and I waste time searching for what I need.  Here is my solution....

My Son started buying these coffee drinks from Sams that came in glass bottles.  I've been keeping them for months because I knew they could be re-purposed.  I decided the bulk of them could be used to hold my seasonings. :)  After I took out all the seasonings from my spice cabinet this is what was left!  We wiped down the shelves and lined up our spices to look at what all we had.  We even found a few lost gems in the back! :)  
 
Make sure your bottles are completely dry any that you have removed any labels.  I used some goo gone and nail polish remover to help with the stickiness from the label.  We started filling up each coffee bottle carefully with a small funnel.  I'll give you a tip, gently tap the bottom of the bottle to the counter or table so you can get as much as possible into the new bottle.  It's amazing how much you can squeeze into just one bottle.

We decided to use black paper with a silver sharpie for labeling, that's what we had on hand.  We figured we would paint the lids eventually and maybe use chalk board paint to write the seasoning names on it if the paper messed up.  But, to tell you the truth it's been weeks and our black paper looks the exact same as it did on day 1.  

And here is the result, I feel so much better and looking for what I need is much easier.  I feel more inspired to cook new things when I look in my cabinet now.  I would say this project was accomplished in about 2 hours.  Now, what should I cook for tonight's dinner.....hmmmm.  First that huge container of coconut oil is making me want to pull some oil.  More on that later! ;)

Looking through Windows

I'm almost 40 and every year that I reluctantly grow older I reevaluate my life and readjust who and what I allow close to me.  I thought when I was a young Mom in my early 20's I would have everything worked out by the time I turned 40.  HAHAHAHA  How funny are the lies we tell ourselves in our youth to sleep more soundly at night.  I longed for the day all my furniture matched, all windows had cute coverings and all my ends met without something having to be sacrificed.  

A long time ago I was 12 or almost 12...I revealed something horrific to my Mother.  It ended our relationship as we had known it for all the years of my life prior.  It was new now and was strained by my revealed secret.  As she screamed and cried I ran out the door.  It was the 1st of many escapes from my past.  I'm still running every time I get triggered, not in the same way but I'm running.  That day as I ran far away from our street I slowed down at a neighborhood.  All the houses mirrored one another, just different colors of trim or landscape.  The sun was almost completely gone and you could see right into their windows.  I was in awe at how happy the families looked sitting around the table for dinner.  Dad, Mom and Kiddos talking even laughing.  I wondered what they were saying....I longed for what they represented.  I felt so sad inside, dead almost to the point that I felt like I could have stood there all night and day and nobody would even know I was there.  As I walked down the sidewalk and looked at life carrying on with or without me I made a promise to have what I saw that night.  One day I will have a safe, loving family.  I felt almost like I was window shopping from house to house.  I left that night with an idea in mind and a goal in my heart.  

How many Spoons do You have?

This is kind of long, but if you truly want to know what my life is like with Lupus then Please read.

From the age of fifteen, Christine Miserandino has been diagnosed with a myriad of illnesses from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome to Epstein Barr, and finally, many years later to a determination of Lupus. As though battling a shopping list of symptoms, Christine has consistently been told, by both well-wishers and doctors alike, “But you don’t look sick.” as if that was some kind of compensation for being chronically ill. Many times, being pretty or not sickly looking, made it harder to validate an illness you cannot see.  You can check out her site to learn more.....here is her Spoon Theory!!

By Christine Miserandino www.butyoudontlooksick.com

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.
As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

Routine Then & Now

This was my Routine back when Kaden was almost 2yrs old.....Funny to look back and see the differences.  I put the differences in Bold Print!!!

I Try to Die Every Night

Last night was my first night using my new breathing machine-CPAP. Oh, did I tell you yet? I was diagnosed with Sleep Apnea. During my sleep study I stopped breathing on average 14 times every hour. Yes, I said every hour! My oxygen saturation was bellow 80. They considered my case severe.....go figure, right?
My kids told me it was like I tried to die every night. Yesterday I tried on like 5 different masks and found one I could tolerate. Last night I terrified Mahala with it. Kaden was so sweet, like I was hurt or something. He kept rubbing my hair and asking me if I was alright. Too sweet!!
I did sleep well, I was impressed!!!!! I would strongly suggest Anyone who wakes up exhausted or snores to have a sleep study. My clarity this morning was like it was 10 years ago. I felt like I was in a different body. My sleep study showed that all night long I was only asleep 144 minutes. Amazing!! The night I was tested I told the lady that I had a better night sleep there then at home. No wonder she looked at me a little weird.
I'm anxious to try it again tonight. I will continue to update about the whole thing. Tonight I am going to add the humidifier portion. I needed distilled water for it and didn't have any yesterday. What is the difference between distilled, drinking, spring, and all the other waters?????
Thanh and Skylar are still gone. They went to Florida on Friday morning. They went to the Florida South Carolina Game!!!! GO GATORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I talked to Skylar a few hours ago and he was on cloud nine!!! He is such a grateful child, so precious. He still has the excitement of a young child. I don't think that will ever change. I pray that it doesn't.
They will be home soon and like will go back to normal. Except now I want be dying in my sleep.