Giving It All To Jesus Feels Good!

Wow, what a crazy past few weeks we have had.  I have been ultra Blessed these past few years and have had fairly good health....thank you Jesus!  Well, the time has come to rally the sick wagons, cause Momma's falling apart.  Well, actually I did feel that way...but I did something different this time.  I just gave it to God.  I told him, I'm no good with this.  If I keep it I will worry, google stuff until carpel tunnel sets in and just make myself so miserable that maybe I would prefer I short death.  

And that's what I did and what that did for me was to heal, stay present and do what matters the most to me.  And that's Live each day with my Family, Talk to my Jesus, Read my road map-aka my Bible and Experience something New each day.  I NEVER could have done this before my Husband's Recovery started almost 2 years ago exactly.  Nope, I was too crazy and busy living an imperfect life perfectly.  And now, that's just not the case....thank you Jesus!  
So, I had a miscarriage back 2 years ago January.  It was right at a time life was almost unbearable to wake up to and then the miscarriage happened and since then my periods have been a wreck.  And we have been so busy Recovering as a Family I just lived through the pain.  But, the pain changed recently and I finally made the appointment.  Long story short I have a few masses, possibly fibroids that are prolapsing out of me.  Yes, I said OUT OF ME! :)
I'm scheduled for surgery and trying to get through Thanksgiving and gear up for Christmas and I'm hit with excruciating pain.  Trip to the ER reveals a raging UTI and HUGE Kidney Stones.  Oh, but wait there is more......I have an enlarged Kidney and Spleen and what they think is the beginning stages of Cirrhosis of the Liver.  Yeah, that's one of the diseases that my Mom died at my age from.  Oh yeah, If there was EVER an appropriate time to freak out and be just a little bit crazy, this would probably make top of the list.  
But, what good would that do?  How would it solve anything or change the situation?  Will I feel empowered and less stress after hours of "controlling" the situation?  After asking myself these few questions the only answer for me was to give it to the Lord.  He already knows the ending of my story, why not release the temptation to try and rewrite what is already written.
So, we are waiting for surgery, taking necessary tests and Dr. appointments and resting as much as possible.  I know I couldn't have gone through all this at a time like this, just weeks from the holidays, Mahala's New Years Eve party and Skylar's wedding.  All will take place within the next month and the best thing for me to do is continue doing the things I LOVE to do......Live each day with my Family, Talk to my Jesus, Read my road map-aka my Bible and Experience something New each day.

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