I have been painting like there is no tomorrow lately. It's become easier and easier because my style has truly come to the surface of hours of painting. A few weeks ago I would have to sit and think of something to paint. Then one day I read something about letting your inner 8 year old take over. I thought about my life at 8. I had both parents, a room full of comfort and toys with nothing but time on my hands. I built forts, climbed trees and had a wild imagination. I remember looking up at the clouds from a blanket and creating stories in my mind. I always talked out loud like I had 10 other people with me as I played school or house. I played shop and kitchen, I colored and created things constantly. I was a busy little girl and each day was an adventure to me.
But, there was a dark side of me too. I was sexually abused off and on from the time I was 2 or 3 till I was 11 years old. I was bullied and picked on in school, we moved so much I never made real friends and then my Mom became deathly ill, Dad died unexpectedly and then Mom died a week before I turned 13. WOW! Even now I'm impressed with my survival.....
Afterwards, I was in and out foster homes and facilities. Abused sexually, mentally and verbally until adulthood. And then I escaped, I survived alone on the streets until I met my new life.
So, I guess my art represents the dark hidden underneath the cute.
It's no secret that I have been coloring in my Bible for a few years now to my Family. But, I haven't always blasted it out on here but on occasions. One of my most prized possessions is my ruddy mauve King James Bible I received from my Foster Parents when I was Saved and Baptized at 16. Every since then no matter what the circumstance I have walked closely with the Lord. Coming from the Bible Belt area in our country I would have never thought to
Who has ever heard of Bible Journaling? Not me, not until one day I saw this beautifully painted Bible on a friend's instagram feed. I was like W-H-A-T!!!! It reminded me of the time I was introduced to scrap-booking. Never heard of it before in my life and then Bam it was all I could do to not run to the nearest craft store and stock up on stickers, cardstock and little diecuts. I was a mess for nearly 2 years and 9 albums later. Then life hit, Lupus hit and a little thing called Autism. I haven't printed a single picture in almost 10 years, except a few for Skylar's graduation party.
Recently though with my new life situation I have become more free with my time and the creative juices are flowing like the Mississippi river in early Summer. No, I take that back....it's like a gushing geyser! Ok, I know that might seem a bit exaggerated. But, I will tell you this one thing.....I have put more paint on things in this house then I ever thought possible. I've gone through 3 glue guns this year, filled up my photo drop box not once, but twice AND I've hung pictures for the FIRST time in 15 years on almost every room in our house. Even the ridiculously small toilet room. Yes, even that room.... right by the tiny window, next to the re-purposed toilet paper holder I fashioned out of a sewing machine table leg. I am that hard core....I scare myself.
I used to be like this, I was the artsy fartsy one in the bunch. I had spunk and spark coming from every part of my being. Over the years all of that was sucked from me, leaving me dry, mundane and just existing. I am so thrilled to report that I am No Longer just existing, I am living!!! And loving every minute of it!!!
I still have bad days, triggers from the trauma of what I call my past life. But, I refuse to let it control who I am in the present and future. That is why I feel so Passionate about this whole Bible Journaling thing. I've read the Bible many times before. Somethings I remembered and could easily recall. I felt like I basically understood the Bible as a whole. Since our life change Bible reading is much more then just reading a few verses or chapters so I could cross it off my to do list. I remember thinking hopefully God could see me now...crossing off Bible Reading!!! Yay for me!! Now, it's literally my main course in my meal for the day. My daily vitamins I guess you could say. I run down the stairs to read each day, so I can drink in the word with my eyes. It feeds my heart and soul, it gives me strength and courage.
Then I get to do what I love to do, and that's add color. I draw whatever comes to mind... how I feel about the passage, my thoughts and interpretation. It's so personal and to have this kind of connection where you are using your logic and creative parts of your brain just makes the scripture stick in your memory. If you asked me about something I read 3 weeks ago I could recall it and probably tell you the book in the Bible that it came from. By illustrating my connection to God's word each day, my life has become filled with passion, love, strength, courage, desire and fulfillment.
How do you spend your time with God? Are you excited to open up his word each day?
