Chemo Night

Today we not only picked up our keys for the new house, but we moved in some boxes and unpacked them. Thirty-five boxes to be exact. My kids are so awesome. They are the ones that wanted to start unpacking. And tonight was also my chemo night! Yeah me, right. I can almost feel the poison drip down my throat and move through my veins. I try to visualize the good that it is doing my body. Remember happy thoughts bring about positive results.
I am so tired and nauseous right now I can barely post this. I just had to give an update about the progressive move to smaller, yet better things in my life.


A change in the air

The boys are back and life has been a bluuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr the past few days. Thanh and Skylar left Friday for a 48 hour LAN party. Just Mahala, Kaden and I stuck here at home. We shopped, watched movies, ate junk food, went to the park and just hung out. Lots of fun I must say, but I am wiped out. Thanh treated us all to Vietnamese take out tonight. Nothing like take out and Tv for the whole family! :-) Hopefully we will make it to bed sooner then later and get rested for the week. Monday Mahala goes to the Neurologist and it's our last week before we get the keys to the new house. Lots to do this week.
I'm real exhausted right now, but my mind is racing with ideas. I am at a point in my life where I feel things are taking a turn. Have you ever felt a change a comin'? I know it's crazy, but I feel the world shifting all around me and nobody else can feel it. Which is all the same, because me and my control issue likes to carry all the worry. But, I think this change may be a good thing.
I'm going to go and relax a little. Night-night!


Lost hair

If you find any hair please send some to me!! Weird request, I know. Everyday my hair gets thinner and thinner. And for some reason it has become brittle. Ok, I know it's from the chemo treatments, but can I get a break. And I don't mean in hair. HA HA
I feel vain talking about my hair, but oh well. My blog, my hair. I look at my daughter's thick hair and think I remember those days. Days of waking up and knowing that your hair is healthy and on your head. Days where getting a haircut wasn't calculated by the thickness of either side of your head. Please Lord don't let me look like Donald Trump! I used to have soft, dark hair. I still have dark hair where the color will take, but it feels like 30 year old Barbie hair on a bad day. Imagine that for just a minute. HA HA
Mahala complains about her hair too. It's to hot, I can't get the shampoo out or I don't want to brush it. Tough shit I tell her. Be thankful you don't have this. And then I make a goofy face while running my fingers through what I do have. She laughs most of the time. Sometimes she just rolls her eyes and rattles off "whatever Mom".
I tell her honey if your hot put it up, add some conditioner with your shampoo and if you don't want to brush it then walk around like a little animal. It's all good!!!!!


Stuff can't make You happy, so get rid of it!

We are still packing. August is looming in the distance. It's close but still so far away. I'm excited about our move and the cute new house. But, I'm at the point where I just don't want to pack anymore. It has happened folks, I've reached my limit. I'm hot, tired, hungry, bored and did I say tired? And to think that after this move we will have at least 2 other moves....maybe just one more if the moving gods are speaking to me or not.
The classroom/craft room is finished. Along with my closet, Kaden's room, Mahala's room and my office. Now I'm at a wall, it's like a page In a book that you keep reading the first sentence over and over again. I hate when I do that!
I need to focus and recommit myself. I need motivation here people, let's send out the Bat Signal quick!
The interesting thing about moving into a smaller house is the fear of putting all your crap in it. I mean all those shopping trips that you took and bought all the stuff you call possessions. You are right they are all just possessions, things you own. Or do they really own you. Think about that trip to Target and you knew you would just die if you didn't have that leather upholstered mirror hanging up in your game room. Or that white T shirt with the small front pocket. Of course you had to have one of those and why not in red, yellow and blue too. I will admit that I am a clothes whore. I love all clothes, even clothes that don't fit me. I just look at those, It would be silly to buy stuff that doesn't fit. Even I have my limits.
As I pack I'm putting together donate and yard sale boxes. I'm getting rid of everything that doesn't bring me joy and happiness. If I don't smile and look good in it I'm getting rid of it. If it doesn't serve a purpose to my family, in the box you go. That part does feel good, but It's draining as well. Maybe that's why the wall is up. Maybe it is hard to let go when the mind listens to the heart that truly believes you need that one thing to be Happy. But, I am happy......even without all that stuff.


Long 3 Weeks

I went to the Doctor the other day. I was thrilled because my blood pressure is beautiful and weight is steady. YEAH!!!!! We are adding a new med and ditching one of the ones I have been on forever. This pill gave me so many side effects, but no relief for my blood pressure. Crazy! So, I asked her if I could take a pee test because I thought I might have a bladder infection. She laughed and said that if I had an infection I would know. I wanted to be sure so she went ahead and tested me. Sure enough I have a bladder infection. Lucky me.....I was right.
So, I went to get my lovely antibiotic and looked behind the local stores for boxes. The kids get so embarrassed that I search for boxes. I tell them that were moving! What am I supposed to pack our treasures in, hefty sacks! I can't afford to buy boxes. Just to give you an idea as to how much crap we are dealing with. I packed 16 boxes just in crafts and scrap booking stuff. It's crazy I know. And to think that we got rid of stuff that we didn't want or couldn't use anymore. This is going to be a long 3 weeks.


Emergency Room, here we come......Again

 Mahala came up to me at the gym and told me her stomach hurt, that she didn't feel well. I offered her some water and she seemed nervous and said that she REALLY didn't feel well. She told me she thought she might throw up. So, I went with her to the bathroom and she leaned on the sink. I tried asking her a few questions, like did she fall, hit her head or.....
She couldn't answer me. I caught a glimpse of her face in the mirror and tilted her head towards me. Her face and neck was white and chalky looking. Around her mouth and eyes it was a deep blue color. She also had beads of sweat on her forehead and chest, even on her arms and back. A lady walked in and I told her I needed help for my daughter. At that time Mahala collapsed over the sink. She was so cold, I had never felt anyone alive that was cold like that. I was terrified to say the least.
The front desk people called the ambulance and there was actually a mother there that was an EMT. What a blessing to have had so many helpful people with us, because I was hardly any help. She was out of it for probably 5-6 minutes before she was able to answer questions. You know how they say time stood still or that 5 minutes was a lifetime. I agree totally, it was like there was an ocean between us and all I had was a spoon to paddle towards her.
When they picked her up to put her in the ambulance there was a sweat outline of her body on the floor. That's how bad she was sweating. The ride to the hospital was not as long as I thought. The guys were wonderful and made both of us feel at ease. Poor Thanh was at home when I first called all frantic. He was rushing to the gym when I had to call back and redirect him to the hospital from the ambulance.
She looked almost normal and not so cold when we were all settled in at the hospital. After several test the Dr. said she was fine enough to go home. But he did say on Monday we needed to go to our regular Doctor. Still confused and worried about what had happened just 8 hours ago we went home. Mahala was exhausted and wanted to sleep. I didn't leave her sight for more then 2 minutes. We were all a little nervous.
The next day she didn't want to go swimming with friends, because she was worried that it might happen again. So, we stayed home and hung out. Friends decided to come over, so that was nice. Sunday night I did try & revisit the situation. I wanted to make sure I had all the facts correct before we saw our Dr. the next morning. She remembered coming to me before the bathroom and some of the ambulance ride. Between that she knows nothing.
Monday morning bright and early we meet with her Doctor.
So, he doesn't even touch her, not even a temperature was taken. And he gives her a diagnosis, vasovagal syncope. Later when we got home I of course looked it up. I don't think everything matches up, but what do you do, he's the one making big bucks, right?
He told me that if it happened again that we would need to do further testing. That we did have heart issues in our family and this could mean something more serious. I had a choice, I could do it now or wait. I decided to go ahead and see the Neurologist. Mahala was worried and I felt it was better to be safe then sorry. So, next week is our appointment.
The Doctor said she could go Monday night to gymnastics. Mahala was a little apprehensive, but decided to go. I watched her every move and thankfully she was as beautiful as ever out there. She has more confidence after going that night and now she is buzzing around here like nothing has happened. And even though it is in the back of my mind I'm letting everything run as it always has. The last thing I need is for her to be a nervous wreck.
More Later