I have always been up front and honest with my kids when it comes to my mistakes in life. Hubby and I did things really backwards and I truly regret that we did not save ourselves for marriage. Which is why purity has been something we have encouraged all of our kids from tween age and on. Even though we are open and have talked extensively about this matter I was still interested in the Sex by Design from Abby Ludvigson.
You know honestly it doesn't matter if you want to remain pure for marriage if you don't have some tools and a plan. A powerful term Mahala and I learned from Abby was Conviction. You have to have Conviction to see this journey all the way to the alter. I decided to watch the videos and go through the workbook with Mahala. Our oldest Son married almost 2 years ago and I am thrilled to know he decided to remain pure till he found his Wife. I don't think you can ever start too soon. Skylar was probably 9 or 10 when we were eating chicken nuggets at a park when we first started talking about marriage. I told him to pray daily for his future Wife, at that point being young we didn't go into crazy detail, but over the years and a million conversations later he knew what the Lord had placed in his heart. A decision to remain pure until marriage. But, it was challenging in college, I know the difficulties and that was before social media and smart phones.
I'm thrilled to have this program to walk Mahala through this journey so that maybe she will be better prepared as she walks out into the world this next year. She is almost 18 and her world is ever changing. First we both looked through the workbooks, looked at the lesson titles and checked out some of the questions. We decided to start it on a weekend so that Dad could occupy Kaden and we could almost have a little Mom/Daughter date. We grabbed some snacks, mugs of hot chi and camped out for an hour or so on my bed upstairs. As a parent I loved that in the parent's book it offers a "helicopter view" of the content in each segment. That makes preparation easier and you kind of know what your walking into.
Topics covered in the Video and Lesson Series
- Plan Ahead: Living Pure in a Sex-Saturated Culture
- Counting the Cost: Every Decision Has a Price Tag
- Dating: Doing Relationships God’s Way
- Sex: God’s Purpose & Plan
- Modesty: God Cares What I Wear
- Pornography: Its Deception & Steps to Get Out or Stay Out
- Secondary Virginity: Running Back to God
Ok, at the start of each segment in the Teen's book is a verse and a brief note from Abby. Mahala made the comment that she could relate to Abby because she was a young woman herself instead of a more mature speaker...AKA an old person like Mom. :) And the fact that she herself is practicing self control and waiting for marriage. In the Parent's book we also get a note from Abby along with a script for the video you are about to see with your Teen. I love this, because I am very visual and function best with a hard copy in black and white in my hands. I usually read through this days before we watch the video together. That way I know what to expect and if there is anything I wanted to skip or maybe have my own thoughts to share, this is a good place to jot it down. In Mahala's workbook she had it open during the short video and filled in the outline as she watched. We paused where we needed to, I found that the content was very thought provoking and gave us great avenues to have some important conversations. Sometimes I would even fill in the blanks on the outline in my book too, but I'll admit sometimes I didn't because I found myself taking down little notes and words of wisdom.
I think one of the main reasons why this program is so amazing is because it doesn't just tell you what you should do, demand it and then send you on your way. Each segment gives you tools, guides you through steps to do in order to achieve this commitment to God and yourself. Also Abby is just cool, down to earth and relate-able. She's not preachy, just honest, has scripture, facts and confidence that allows the Teen to feel empowered and motivated to stand up for themselves and what they believe in. I don't want my Daughter to just settle for what the world says is ok....she deserves more, God has more planned for her then that.
We have found that the verses in the workbook we both go over on our own time and share them the following weekend before the next lesson. After the video we go through the Discussion questions and Truth statements while we snack. I know what you might be thinking is how is this different from all the other programs the teach purity. The last 2 portions of every lesson is what I feel is the game changer. The Personalize It section will have your Teen take it from anyone everyone to Him or Her. Activities will include things like check out some store in person or online for your very own purity ring, print off a commitment card, memorizing scriptures tugging at your heart, make a list of traits you are looking for in a future spouse and even encouraged to spend alone time with God and reflect what you have learned so far. The last section that I think is a reason why this program is Boss is the Apply It section. One of the sweetest things that Mahala decided to start was a weekly journal to her future spouse. There are a ton of brainstorming activities to put this promise into action. Lots of lists to compile for your desires and standards, you get a chance to create an escape plan when temptations creep up and there is a ton of reading materials that compliment the segment your on.
Not only do you get to Discus it, Personalize it and Apply it, but Abby has added even more uniqueness to this program. Based on the 1 Peter 3:15 verse she has came up with the 1st Peter Principle with a shield as an icon. Throughout the book this little shield is placed next to questions that Abby felt we needed space and time to refine our beliefs and thoughts so that we could be able to articulate and witness to others. The section is located in the back sectioned off by segments. The other hidden element that I was not expecting was the Bible Study included. It just allows you to dig even deeper into God's word. Mahala commented on the lay out of the study...she liked the conversational tone. You have the topic, then it says Abby says..., the Bible says and then What do you say? The structure is simple, consistent and filled with hearty wisdom.
So, what did I think? I loved this program, we are an open family...but this allowed us to not just look at our standards as rules, but as a treasure that God had placed in our hearts many many years ago....it was apart of the design of marriage. Sex is a gift given to us in marriage and to be able to go through this program with Mahala we have grown closer even. We treated it like a special opportunity for us to learn more about God's plan and intention. That may sound crazy....but, if you have a Tween or Teen and you would like to encourage them to value their bodies and to hold on to their God given purity till marriage this program needs to be in your home right now. I was relieved that even in the program they have a whole lesson on re-commitment if your child has already been sexually active. God turns nobody away and is there with open arms....I was pleased to see that nobody is excluded in this program and Abby makes sure to work on any shame or guilt that may be felt if they have been sexually active.
No comments:
Post a Comment