My xyz was to grow Spiritually, I wanted to know things. I wanted to experience inner peace or at least be in the room with it minus Kung Fu Panda playing in the background. I just figured one day I would get around to it. That it would become a priority when there was a free spot in my schedule.
My first meditation experience was almost like a roller coaster ride. It was full of highs, twists, turns and at the end I floated on the effervescence of inner peace all day. I was so surprised of the mind blowing theater system I obviously have been toting around with me my whole life I had to call my therapist. She confirmed I had a reel of unlimited tickets to my own personal mental theater. Now, I have to tell you I have never studied Meditation, Spirituality or anything really that would make me an expert in anything I write here on this blog. These are just my own thoughts and opinions. I have locked up my feelings and denied myself the ability to share my thoughts and experiences because I knew I lacked text book knowledge. That's part of my broke down core values I have cleaved to since birth. But, through the Miracles I have experienced this past year I have let those go, healed my heart and washed my soul. This is why I can share my process with you now.
My first experience was pure relaxation. It was just me, my eyelids and the night. Being my first time I didn't use a mantra or chant anything special I just sat there and breathed. I knew how to breathe, actually my therapist told me I was a pro at breathing. In the beginning I didn't think it was much of a compliment. But, now I know Breathing is life....all of life. It's the difference between life and death. And before last year I wasn't living...just existing. Ok back to the meditation....I looked forward with my eyes closed. Because of my trauma therapy I had been doing for a few months I was used to relaxation techniques by now. And my favorable eye position(I will explain all of this later in another post) was straight ahead, right between my eyebrows. And as I sat there and breathed deeply and slowly I imagined white light entering my body with every inhale. And the white light supported me and filled me with love and awareness. When I exhaled I envisioned different negative words that had filled my head my whole life. I was ready to let go...halleluiah!!!
As I was enveloped with warm fuzzy self love I noticed something shoot across my line of vision...my closed eye vision. I focused on it for a breath and then all of a sudden I noticed my view widening to see not just one little dot, but thousands. And I saw a bright blue, glowing ring at my right side. It felt like I was in a warm bath, I had nothing but peace and childlike feelings of bliss. I thought Wow, this is really happening! As I continued taking in the love and light a glittery, gold shimmering wave filled the sky I had developed on the inside of my eyelids. I formed pictures and patterns. I saw this huge Tiger and it looked as if it was trying to comfort me. I felt a sense of kinship with him, there was love in his eyes. Protection in the Tiger's movements....I was thinking really this is happening? I could have stayed in this place for days, it felt like there was no time there only pure joy and fulfillment.
With several more deep breaths I opened my eyes. I was instantly aware that my skin was warm to the touch, even sweating a bit. There was a tingling sensation around my head and my arms. I remembered vividly what just happened it was an experience not a dream. I went to write my experience down and I looked at the clock. More then 5 hours had passed, I thought it was 20 minutes at most. I was shocked to realize how much time had passed.
What an experience....I at first thought how can people do this every single day and get anything else done. I honestly thought everyone had this kind of experience right out of the gate. But, not everyone does. Meditation for me is a daily thing, twice a day you will find me soaring through the stars in my head. Not 5 hour long trips all the time. Sometimes it's a Blessed deep connection with God and I'm focused on scripture or my daily mantra. So many options, so many outcomes that all begin with just one breath!
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