A Step Off the Hoarder Train

So, today I was literally running around the house like a chicken with her head caught off.  And the worse part of it all was that I couldn't find my head.  After many years of being in a loveless marriage I've found myself to be a bit of a collector of all things that can be collected.  And I'm not talking about cute little collections, antiques, or even memorabilia.  No, it's more like the depression era over here.  (Me on an average day: Wait....I can't throw away this left over yarn!  I could use it to wrap a gift, craft, mend something with it....I could possibly learn how to knit or crochet....eventually!?!?!?!?!)  I think we all know the true outcome for that small bundle of multi-colored yarn. :)

I'm vowing that I will not start 2016 with the mess in my head...I mean house.  I have to get myself together, one room at a time.  You would freak out if you saw what I saw every single day.  Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a teeny tiny bit.  But, just as beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.  The same can be said about the mess that one sees day in and day out.  I've asked myself more times then I want to admit why?  Why do I have so much extra in my life?  Short answer.....I grew up with every material desire and then as a young child my parents died, and I had NOTHING.  In foster care I didn't even have my own personal clothing.  And once I was 19 I found myself a single Mom in and out of shelters with all my belongings strapped to my back.  Did I say something about a "short answer"?  HAHAHAHA  My life is anything but a short answer, it's more like a maze of traumatic events that have twisted and turned until just recently.

While living in my loveless marriage I think I knew subconsciously the possibilities of a future without again.  And my choice to hunker down and living unhappily all these years cause me to build a huge wall around myself with clearance pencils, outdated shampoo and enough magazines to build the Taj Mahal.  Now after new beginnings and a whole lot of Jesus I don't need all that stuff anymore to make me feel secure.

So, let the purging begin....one room at a time.  I think understanding the "Why" is the first step, now to get cleaning.....say a prayer for me! :)

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