The 3 Autism Worries~ part1

You know I worry, I just do...I worry about what life will be like for Kaden in 10 years, 20 years....even when I'm dead and gone.  How will he handle the big bad outside world?  How will they handle him?  With my other two I wanted them to be educated and able to provide for themselves and make a difference in the world.  I didn't worry about them being compassionate, controlling their anger or not being able to self regulate.  With Kaden those are top on my list....he's smart and what he doesn't know by the time he graduates he will easily pick up along the way.  I'm not worried about that one bit, it's the other 3 things mentioned that I worry most about. 

First up is Compassion.... we have come along way with this.  Used to I could have been passed out bleeding to death and he would use me as a book rest and continue to read.  Now, 7 out of 10 times he is the one who rushes for a cloth with water on it and the Band-Aids when anyone gets hurt.  As long as he is not already overwhelmed or flared he will respond this way.  If I have been sick or my Lupus is acting up that's another story.  So, if I'm moving slowly and can't do something for him then he just won't get the reason why.  It still needs to be a huge visual clue for him to "get it".  And even with the visual clues if it's too overwhelming for him he will freeze or go hide.
So, I worry about a fire in the house or a car accident where I am not able to analyze how he's processing the current situation.  This is why us Special Needs Parents suffer from PTSD, we live in a constant evaluation of our surroundings and our kid 24/7.


So, what do I do about this?  Well, right now I'm hitting him hard with nature.  Last year we started full time gardening and he is a natural.  I sing to the plants and he gently touches their leaves, arranges stones around them and churns the compost while saying a prayer.  Is this crazy?  no, I want him to have a gentle heart, to be connected with life.  And right now the life of choice is Plants. 
Along with gardening though you tend to have little critters.  And he is so gentle with the worms, the grasshoppers and lizards.  Just the other day we found some slugs and decided it was best to relocate them.  One was hurt and he made it a little habitat, but it was just too late.  So, on his own he wrapped it with a leaf, buried it and covered it with small stones and flowers.  I cried because it's working.  My plan to cultivate compassion in this boy is really working. 

I get asked a lot why I chose to have him connect with nature and not straight to people or animals?  Well because he is so loving with his service dog and other animals kind of already.  I mean a furry, wet nosed pup is not so hard to snuggle and love on.  But, nature gets unnoticed a lot of the time.  And it wasn't until I fully embraced nature myself that I found peace within.  So, that's where we have started...next up, Anger.