1.08.2011

It's No Fun

,
So, she is home from the hospital.  What does that mean for us?  Well we sit and wait.  We wait for this foreign object that's deep inside her body to grow again.  Will it grow back?  We don't know.  So we sit and wait.  And life goes on.  That is the weirdest thing.  We think life should kind of stand still, like when a loved one dies.  We are almost shocked when we see someone laughing or a new movie comes out.  We tend to be stuck grieving or worrying.  Denial, I think is the emotion mixed with anger and grief. 
I walk around this house unable to think, I can't focus on a damn thing.  I don't want to do anything, yet I'm board. My kids need me and I feel so out of control because I am not able to protect my baby girl. 
When we left the hospital they still had No idea what this was growing inside her body.  All 6 Doctors said they had never seen anything like this.  Maybe that's why I feel so miffed.  I am a person that has to have an answer and if I don't have it then I find it.  On top of it all she has been diagnosed with colitis, so that's no fun.  I know, because I have it.  If you have it and you say otherwise you are full of shit.  HAHAHA  that's funny to me. :-)
So, I am thrilled she can be home right now and recuperate, I'm just worried that this is not the end.  I have been praying for all the parents out there who have children with illnesses that require hospital stays, drugs & tests.  The uncertainty they deal with everyday.  The struggles they face inside and outside the hospital.  Just know that I am one person, but I am praying for you. 

3 comments:

  1. I am praying for you and your family.

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  2. I know how much the waiting and the wondering sucks. I'm sending positive thoughts to you in the hopes that you get some answers soon, and that Mahala is on the upswing.

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  3. Thank You guys so much. We know we have a lot of people praying for her. And we can feel the power from it and see the changes every day.

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