My kids know about the homeless thing. I have talked to Skylar a lot about it. I figure those first 5 years of life are critical and play into who you are. I tell my kids because I want them to know how good life is. How important family is and how well off they are now. Be thankful you hear me! I think for my kids they understand who I am and where I've been. I hold my kids, my husband so close to me and so high on my list because I know....BAAAM! It can ALL be taken away in an Instant. Do you know what an instant looks like? Imagine being in a pink straight jacket looking outside from a window. There is your family playing together in slow motion. Playing ball and picking daisies sing together in between laughs. The sun has never been so bright and warm you can feel to on your face through the window.
You scream and fight but that straight jacket just gets tighter and tighter the more you fight. You toss yourself on the cold floor trying to get out and save your family. The pain from your struggle burns as the pain in your breaking heart aches an ache you've never felt or imagined before. You get up and look out the window, you know for a fact that this had to have been just a dream, a nightmare! But it's raining and dark when you look out that window. All the flowers you once saw are gone. Your family is gone, you hear no more singing, there are no more games being played. It's so very quiet, there are no more laughs. And you just stand there at the window shivering all alone. You look down and notice that the pink straight jacket is gone....it's replaced with shackles.


  1. Anonymous8/23/2008

    That sounds like such a bad dream! I have those too, especially when I am not feeling well or am on medication. Memories (not so good ones) from the past come up, mixed with new ones. I welcome the morning light because the dark can be so lonely.

    You are very brave to tell your story. You will help many people.
    I appreciate your honesty.

  2. Your descriptions are so vivid and blunt. Once again, I seriously hope you are writing a memoir to be published.

  3. I always try to keep that in mind, and appreciate what I have b/c I know it can all be gone in an instant...that is a very scary, and sobering thought.

  4. You will seriously help someone one day with sharing your stories. You also help us who have not been through something like this remember to not take advantage of life and to live every day to it's fullest!

    Many hugs to you girl!