3.01.2009

Red Mustache & Painted Toenails

I'm bored, so I thought I would take a trip down memory lane. Keep arms and feet inside the vehicle at all times. And no chewing gum!

Skylar is feeling so much better now. His throat is healing well. And he is eating just about everything that he wants to eat. While he was all broken up I thought it would be fun to tell him some " when I was....."stories.
So, when I had my tonsils and adenoids out besides the hell fire in my throat I remember the tomato soup incident.
Picture this with me- Poor young girl struggling to breath and swallow. Needing nourishment and love to survive yet another day. I was hanging on by a thread and the thread was worn thin.
Can you picture that? Can you? Okay, some of that was true I swear. But, there was a ton of super Mario playing and endless ice cream bowls filled to the brim. Oh, and let's not forget about Kraft's Mac N cheese. My gut was so full of fake pasta and powdered cheese there was no way I was going to die from starvation.
So, anyway the lady I was staying with at the time had made me a little lunchy pooh one day. *Flash Back*I had my operation when I was 14, so my parents had already died and I was living with my 2nd family at that time.
Back to the little lunchy pooh. She had made me soup. Hot, thick, nasty tomato soup. I smiled and retrieved the Big bowl from her. And tried to look impressed and gracious. My brain went into over drive. What can I do to get rid of this mess. What are my options. I thought about the bathroom first. But, I was weak and maybe she would notice me walking down the hall. Or the pipes could clog up with it's nastiness! I thought about lifting the carpet and putting it under the pad. I know.....crazy, I was 14 on pain pills cut me some slack. And then I saw her scrawny miniature poodle sway into the room with it's little painted toenails. I never really liked that dog. JACKPOT!!!! Come here little darling!!!!!
She of coursed hopped on the bed and started sniffing the red mess. Her little tongue licked at it slow at first and then she was excited. I guess it must be better then puppy kibble. I noticed a little gagging going on and I took the bowl from her. And as if God was trying to punish me I noticed the dog had a RED mustache. WHY......LORD WHY!!!!!!
I tried to wipe it's little mouth clean and gave up because I was woosie. At this point I was tired and I looked on the floor where this particular house had it vents. I always thought it was weird to have vents in the floor instead of in the ceiling. But, that day I was happy. I went over and poured it down the vent. TA Da I thought, all gone. I was bad, what can I say. Thank goodness we grow up. Now I have to pray my kids aren't as bad as I was.

4 comments:

  1. Oh dear, I think my sister could compare notes with you. She always hid her food whenever she didn't like it.

    We found out one day WHERE she hid her chili after dinner. IT was when we were going to go to the store and she refused to put on her shoes... Yep, she hid her chili in her shoes.

    So, I don't know which is worse, the chili or the vents! LOL

    Hmmm... I'm surprised the pooch ate that soup! You never said whatever happened to that red mustache... Did ya get caught!? ;-)

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  2. that made me smile in recognition and realize that Im screwed :)
    there is no way my daughter isnt gonna be just like I was :)

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  3. gosh we have the BEST job in the world ;)

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  4. Oh my gosh!!! That is too funny! I can see the dog now...

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