If there is one thing that I am an expert at doing it is worrying. I am a full time worrier about things that pertain to me or that come close to my bubble. I was the 8 year old girl who would stay awake at night worrying about understanding tax forms. My Dad would come in and try to sooth my nerves, but it wasn't until he sat down with me at the table covered in tax returns, a tax guide and a notepad that I was finally able to let go and sleep.
Looking back now I see the cry for assurance, stability, understanding. I knew intuitively that I was going to need to depend on me and only me. Things weren't stable in my home...my Mother was dying a slow death, my Dad was almost 70 years old. These were my dealt cards that I had to play with and I was determined to be ok, to be safe, to be sheltered from whatever storm was a coming my way.
Might seem a tad dramatic, but honestly that was my life. And as a little girl I had the weight of my whole world on top of me. And I was determined to take it all on. How did that work for that little girl? Well, she was crushed, abused, neglected, left for dead by the world's standards. But, God had a different plan for that little girl, she survived. Despite all that the devil put in her path, taxes and all she survived.
If there is one thing I have learned over the years is that worrying wont get you anywhere. It is what it is and it will never be what it shouldn't. God has the overall plan already mapped out, in motion and heading for resolve. Resolve in his way, he is the writer and I am here to follow. When I feel a worry creep in or anxiety I receive it in my heart. Bundle it with prayer and then with all my strength I get down on my knees and toss it out to the Lord.
Jesus, it's me.....I come at your feet today with this matter.. Swooooooosh I meditate on him receiving it and I can almost feel his smile, his presence in and around me. My worries and anxiety has been received and now I am free to praise him, love him and continue on my life mission that he has chosen me and only me for.
I believe whatever obstacles, trials, misfortunes, illness or problems I'm facing in this life has been chosen to be apart of my journey. I believe God has given me the strength, courage, the fight, the dreams, the desires and abilities that I need in order to successfully make it through. This is why fear will not stay in my heart, worry and anxiety only briefly lingers on my mind. God has been there so many times for me when I was in dark worry, it reminds me of the hymn, What a Friends we have in Jesus. Oh what a sweet friendship it is....how do you deal with your anxiety and worries? I'm praying for peace over all of you today. God Bless