Kaden is now 8 years old....that's so crazy to me. Where does the time go, I mean come on. It seems like only a few years ago I was bringing him home from the hospital. Life with Kaden has been anything but boring. He has kept us on our toes since day one.
Weeks after being in 2 different hospitals his little body was giving out. I was so terrified and mentally exhausted. My heart was so heavy with anxiety and fear. Between the continuous high fevers and the tubes and wires that kept our little boy's life going I had this constant battle in my head for his survival. It just couldn't be any other way, he had to heal and recover.
I remember the night Kaden's pediatrician came in way after hours. I was shocked to see him because it was almost midnight. He came in and asked us to go for a walk. He told us that there was honestly nothing else that could be done. That there was no way his little body could go through even one more night of fevers and that his oxygen levels were so low even on the machines. His lungs were closing more and more every day. Medically he was up against a wall. A Minister came in to talk with us and I refused to give up and I wasn't ready to let go. I begged and cried to God. At this point in my life I knew God, Loved God and Believed in the one true God. But, unlike today I didn't truly believe that God was in charge and already new what he had in store for sweet baby Kaden. I felt like it was all on my shoulders to pray harder and put my faith in the Dr.s.
After hours of prayer and phone calls they released him and sent him to a special children's Hospital PICU. He was among so many super sick babies. I was overwhelmed and felt so small. There were so many sweet babies in their own fight for life.
I tried to let go, I tried to except so that it wouldn't hurt so bad when we left this hospital in a few days without him. But, I couldn't....I hadn't slept horizontal in almost a month. The beeps and buzzes of the hospital machines became a gauge to how he was doing and even the hour of the day. We just existed and tried to stay above water as we waited. I was waiting for his sweet body to give out completely and then we would do what? What comes next I remember thinking, how do you recover from this? I couldn't think about this, I had to stay focused on him healing.
And praise God after several days Kaden's lungs were finally clearing. Oh my gosh, he has a chance I thought. I remember having this exploding feeling of excitement, shock, thankfulness and relief all at once just rumble through my whole body. Thank you Lord for carrying our baby boy right back to us.
As he spent a few more days in the PICU his lungs grew stronger and clearer. We moved to a regular room for several more days and it was then that we realized just how much weight he had lost. He was just a shell, literally a shell. Once he was able to feed on his own and keep it down and his oxygen rate was normal he was able to come home. We had our very own miracle baby.
I look at him now and even though we have our challenges he will forever be our miracle baby....he is our Kaden. I believe after his battle with RSV is when his Autism began. I believe that with all of my heart. I have some upcoming post regarding the development of Kaden's Autism.
We Love You Buddy....You are Our WHOLE World!!! Happy Birthday!!!!