The Autism Silence
Last night I found him playing legos in his room. I acted so excited and intrigued in what he was building. I smiled and asked if I could sit down and play with him. This was attempt #6 for the day. He told me in a mono-toned voice that I couldn't and he reminded me that it was his room and he needed his time to himself. All day, he spent alone in that room organizing and reading. I only saw him when he came out to eat and once when he asked to work in his workbooks. It's as if he doesn't care to participate, very little gives him joy on an everyday level. I mean yes, a trip to Disney would make him smile. But, common everyday things pass right by him. And those are the most wonderful things in life!
I realized by the sound of his voice that he did not understand like one of the other kids would, that my feelings were hurt. He didn't get it because he has Autism and this is just apart of our life now. I just have to remember that and quit comparing him to the other kids. The other kids were always up my butt doing a craft or playing a game. Kaden is just not going to be like that and I have to stop feeling like it's my fault and that there must be something wrong with me.
I mean nobody else in this house is bothered that he could seriously go the whole weekend without interacting with anyone except for when he needs something he can't do for himself. So, why does it bother me??????? I think I already answered myself a line or two up, I just blame myself and it has got to stop.
I think I will talk with his therapist on Monday. I know the ABA therapy wears him out, which means that's less time he is willing to give to the family. I just love him so much, he is my world and I would do anything for him.....anything. I feel a little better now......off to make some dinner!